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How do you like to be treated?
I read an interesting quote recently in the
"Science of Being Well" newsletter (www.scienceofbeingwell.net).
The wisdom comes from Jack Canfield, co-author of the "Chicken Soup
for the Soul" series. He says, "You either create or allow everything
that happens to you."
My experience with this kind of statement is that most people hear it
and say, "Yeah, yeah, yeah... I certainly didn't ask for this illness,
all these bills, the leaky roof over my head," or whatever their gripe
of the moment might be. They have a valid point.
Who you be + what you do = what you
get.
People often don't see the connection
between their day-to-day choices and what shows up in their lives
because nobody's ever explained how it happens. They never took
"Create the Life You Want" in school because it wasn't offered there.
Mom and Dad didn't explain it because they didn't get the picture
either. How's a person to learn?
Well, things are about to change.
In this article, we'll explore
how just one "everyday" choice can mold your material world and your
future.
Your everyday actions choose
your future.
My premise is that in any situation, you
always have a choice of how to respond. When you follow the voice of
wisdom, you create power in your life. When you choose otherwise, you
create stress. The voice of wisdom, by the
way, can be called by many different names.
You may call it:
~ common sense
~ the right thing to do
~ your conscience
~ what [the wisest and most compassionate person you
can think of] would do
~ your inner knowing
~ instinct
~ intuition
~ a gut feeling
I sometimes refer to it as "the voice of the Shaman," meaning that
higher-level wisdom we all have access to.
Today's example has 3 variations, one of which I witnessed in action
just yesterday.
Variation 1: You're eating out at a restaurant. You notice a bunch of
crumbs on the table, left by the
crackers you just crunched. You gather up the crumbs from your place
(because they bother you) and either (a) dump them onto the floor
under the table for someone to sweep up eventually or (b) put them on
the plate you've finished using to go back to the kitchen.
Variation 2: You've just tried on a bunch of clothing in the dressing
room of your favorite store. You either (a) leave the items you don't
want in a crumpled heap on the floor or (b) hang them back up on the
hangers and hand them to the attendant on your way out.
Variation 3: You've just stayed overnight at a motel. You've taken a
shower and now have the chore of dispensing with your wet towel. You
either (a) leave it wadded up in the middle of the bathroom floor to
mildew or (b) hang it on a hook or rack to dry out.
I've made it pretty easy here by listing all the "create stress"
responses first. I suppose they're obvious. You could, of course, get
away with any of them. It's certainly been explained to me in each of
these situations that "the person who works here is being paid to
clean up my mess, so why should I bother?"
You might say, as has been said to me, "Well
I don't expect to ever have that job."
J
"I don't expect to ever wait tables, attend
a fitting room, or clean hotel rooms. This exact thing will never be
done to me." (Please understand I'm not de-valuing those jobs. I've
done two of the three myself.) "So why should I care?"
I could give you several reasons. But the simplest and easiest to
understand is this: You are faced with an opportunity to make life
easier for a fellow human being or to make life harder. Which do you
choose?
That's the real question. "Which do you choose ... stress or power?"
Which do you choose ... stress
or power?
You create power for yourself RIGHT NOW by treating other people the
same way you'd like to be treated yourself if your positions were
reversed. If this principle sounds familiar to you, it should. It's
known to many of us as "The Golden Rule" and it's one of the most
commonly practiced moral guidelines in the world.
You may think little things like this don't matter.
Get this: They do. These very simple, everyday choices mold your
material world.
How?
Again, I could suggest a number of ways. The simplest to understand is
this. You never know who may be observing your behavior. You never
know when the person you least expect may be in a position to make
life easier for you. And they'll be more likely to do so if they see
you as a considerate person yourself.
Maybe you've just taken a long, hard look in the mirror and recognized
yourself as a person who often selects the first option (a) in
situations like these. Hey, it happens. We're not born knowing
everything. We learn. So maybe I was talking about you. Or a close
"friend."
If so, let me make a few observations about your life at the moment.
Your relationships with other people are strained. You're lonely. You
have to fight for every inch you get in life. People don't understand
you. Certainly, they don't treat you with the deference that you feel
you deserve.
How did I come up with that? Easy. You created it. Your assumption
that the world exists to serve you will endear you to nobody.
The guy you just made sweep the floor an extra time won't be doing you
any favors any time soon, that's for sure. Better hope your car starts
in the parking lot, because he's sure not gonna offer you a jump.
Since the ability to get along with others is so closely related to
your success in other areas of life, I could equally well predict that
you have trouble at work, catch every bug that goes around, and are
plagued by a variety of aches and pains, probably neck pain and
headaches. But we won't go into all that right now.
The fundamental message is this: It's not just about what you know in
life, it's about what you do with what you know.
You'll learn about 6 common ways we choose between stress and power
every day in my booklet and card set, "Challenging The Shaman: How to
Create Health and Vitality by Following the Voice of Wisdom in
Everyday Situations." In addition to the 6 strategies, you'll explore
32 everyday situations like the one I described above. Each one is
presented simply and clearly so you can get its essence quickly,
without a lot of reading.
They're part of my
Ultimate Stress-Buster Kit, which you can learn more about by
following the link.
Bottom line: It never hurts to raise your standards. When in doubt,
mentally trade places with the person who will have to deal with the
"fall-out" of your choice. Then make the choice that will cause them
to have the more pleasant experience of life!
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