In this article,
we'll continue with our count-down of the most popular reasons people
don't do what they know they could to optimize their health.
Reason #4: It's just how I am.
This reason was
favored by 18% of the people who responded to my survey. I must
confess a bias about this one. This
statement makes it sound
like the person simply isn't interested in doing anything about their
situation. There's often a defensive attitude involved.
Sometimes they're downright rude.
All of which
makes me wonder why they were asking about it in the first place…
But, hey, that's just me. Of course, sometimes the person simply
doesn't know any better. And that's why we're all here!
There are at
least 3 different word patterns that people use under the guise of
"It's just how I am." Here are the ones I hear most:
- It's been this
way forever.
- It's just my
__________ (condition).
- It's just how
I am.
Let's look at
them one by one.
(1) It's been this way forever.
The false belief here is the illusion that a long-term
dysfunction doesn't count. The truth is our bodies compensate
wonderfully, but they can only hang on for so long.
When we wage a
campaign against health, we might not see or feel the consequences
immediately. People smoke cigarettes for years before they
die of lung cancer. They have poor food habits
for years before they keel over from a heart attack. Their
bodies move or stand inefficiently for a long time before a joint
wears out because of it. They wallow in guilt and poor
self-worth for ages before their immune system gives out.
Does that mean
that any of these things doesn't count? That because we get away
with it for 20 years that we're somehow "home free?" Nope.
You didn't really think so, did you?
(2) It's just my _____________ (condition).
The false belief here is that identifying your condition determines
its outcome, which just isn't so. Here's my illustration.
You want your yard to look nice, right?
You go
outside and what do you see but little yellow blossoms among the green stuff.
Uh-oh. What to do? Call Uncle Rudy. He knows
everything. Rudy scratches his head. Then he makes his
diagnosis: Dandelions.
Dandelions — NO!
You go into mourning. Cancel your gardening magazines.
Farm out your nephew's graduation party. Pull the kids out of
little league. Cover the pool. You're doomed! Right?
Sure.
Dandelions are hopeless. Rudy said so. You'll never get
rid of 'em. Never can make the
darned things go away. Just keep mowing over 'em.
Best you can do. And Uncle Rudy knows everything, right? Didn't he just say so?
Are you getting
the analogy, or should I spell it out?
Ok, here goes.
You're not feeling as well as you'd like. You go for an expert
opinion. Let's say the opinion is your muscles are
irritated and sore. (Wait a minute, isn't that pretty much what you just told them?)
But they give it a fancy name.
So just because
the expert may have accurately labeled your problem, does it follow
that they necessarily know everything there is to know about how to
deal with it? Did Rudy know everything there was to know about
dandelions? Did I mention he lives in Tucson? His front
yard is rocks, sand, and
cactus.
If you really
want to know about getting rid of dandelions, you might
be better off asking someone who lives where they grow.
(3) It's just how I am.
The false belief here is that you can't be (or don't deserve to be) any
different than the way you are right now. Either that or you
simply won't, which isn't a false belief at all. It's either
laziness or manipulation.
Sometimes the
statement comes from ignorance. Sometimes from unworthiness.
It might even be willful and calculated. Same result, though.
You refuse to act in your own behalf when you could.
And everybody is supposed to sympathize with you because of it.
Woo-hoo! See why I'm not
so keen on this one?
How it sounds:
We've already
identified the 3 key phrases:
- It's always
been like this.
- It's just my
_______________ (condition).
- It's just how
I am.
Bottom line: "It's
just how I am" is a thinly (or sometimes not-so-thinly) veiled excuse
for refusing to take action to help yourself. It's not likely to
get you very far. Especially once your friends catch on to how
you've been manipulating them for sympathy.
(4) One more
option. Sometimes people say this simply to avoid a long-winded
explanation of why they do what they do. Fine. Just watch what you're
saying and to whom, ok? If you're seriously looking for help from
someone, clue them in!
"It's just
how I am" is
just one of the 21 reasons you'll learn to avoid when you read and
apply the strategies you'll find in Word Cures: How to Keep
Stupid Excuses from Sabotaging Your Health. Learn more here:
www.WordCures.com.
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